Respecting Marriage and Relationships

Seeing as we are living in the reality t.v. world I like most of my fellow Americans decided to join in on the viewing pleasure. Now matter what anyone could tell me I'm watching my shows. They are in a way my little guilty pleasures and only say this because there are those out there that choose to judge and say reality shows are trash (But that's another blog for a later time).Now one of my little guilty pleasures just happens to be The Real Housewives of Atlanta and I know several other people that enjoy this show and of course it always sparks a debate. Its all about the dislike of one housewife or another back and forth so on and such.

The main topic of discussion and dislike has often been around one woman Kim! for those of you don't watch she is a single mother of two girls and is dating a married man and quite frankly shes very open about it. This utterly disgusts me and I guess I assumed all woman would feel the same way I mean for gosh sakes shes sleeping with someone else HUSBAND!!! Kim often tries to reason away her blatant disrespect for as she calls him "Big Poppa's" wife by saying he's getting a divorce they don't stay in the same house she doesn't make him happy we've been dating for four years he's leaving her and countless other excuses. So with all that I automatically assumed  that most other women would feel this is so wrong. But quite the contrary many women my age thinks shes fab or saying she's trying to find love whereas most older women share my disdain.

This got me thinking why is that??? why do younger women and most of all single see that this relationship is okay. While older women mostly married feel the exact opposite. Well I think somewhere over the years women have lost a respect for other women. Its a common decency to respect another woman's relationship and marriage. I mean is it really that hard to check a man that comes at you side eye and smooth talking. Can you take a moment and make some logic out of the situation. He loved his wife enough to declare his love in front of family and friends and your only good enough for the bedroom. Sure he buys you nice gifts but that's to temporarily buy you into staying longer. More often than not he ends up staying with the wife anyways. Why go through the heartache pain and humiliation. To me makes no sense I would never want to cause another woman pain that I would never want to feel myself. Yes it does take two to tango but you have free will choice. Chose to say NO!!!

I can't lie I've know men that have cheated and that have gave me the side eye but I have a simple set of rules. That most of my single girlfriends seem to think are ridiculous but i stick to make sure there will be no misunderstanding of intentions.These also go for men in relationships (he's still taken ladies)

1. Never go anywhere alone with a man in a relationship this includes any form of meal or outing that the two of us are exclusively alone (i.e. shopping zoo picnics rite aid) the time he's spending with you at a meal should be time spent with his woman. The only approved place is church and that's it and even then its church then home you go to hear God's word fellowship with a group at church and dip out.

 

2.Never ever talk badly about the girlfriend or wife if a male friend decides to tell you about his hardships no matter how bad always  suggest ways for them to work it out keep it short and sweet the time he's spending telling you can be spent working on his problems with her. If you can't do that then simply don't weigh in. It never helps when you build yourself up like your this great woman that wouldn't do these terrible things to him. Not your place and there's always two sides to a story.

3.Make it a point to never text or call just for conversations sake. The only times its okay to call or text is birthdays,holidays,and deaths in the family. Also if your apart of a group of friends and need to tell a place and time to meet up if you have his woman's number its best to just go through her. Any other conversations are unnecessary there's no need to have a 3 hours convo with him he's got a woman for that already.

4.Never spend random money on him buying him gifts he may of mentioned he would like. No matter how big or small sends a message. We all know the appropriate gift times.

5. If his woman acknowledges something you did that offended her to you take the time to listen and within reason change your actions. We all know the intentions of our hearts check yourself. You may of heard unsavory things about her or seen something you didn't like but who really knows what he's doing behind closed doors. If you must get these feelings out vent to someone you trust to keep it confidential. Remember there must be a reason he's still with her. 

(bonus)6. If you know another woman close to you is dating or interested in a man steer clear no need to mess up a friendship just to prove your more desired or because you like the attention. Think of your friend or family members feelings she'll figure out if he's really that into her without your help. 

Now those are my basic rules I extend to men that are in relationships and married. I don't think there extreme I think they are set so there is no place for bad decision to be made. The truth is that most situations start out as innocent as can be by one person or the other and can lead to a very unproductive and unhappy place. Remember there is someone out there for you and he's single no need to tear apart lives and for your own personal gain and who's to say he won't do it to you. Just a little something to think about next time you run across a man that is taken.