2:45 a.m.

This weekend was crazy busy! Friday morning I got up with my friend Uncanny at 2:45 in the morning to stand in line at Best Buy. It was cold and he was very impatient but we had a goal. We came for a PlayStation 3 and we were going to get it. I did the research the night before and knew if we got in line in time to get a ticket we were going to get one. I'm such a nerd when we got our ticket  started singing the Willy Wonka "I got a golden ticket" song. We even had good people standing around us in line. When the store finally opened at 5 a.m. we rushed in with everyone else and got the box headed to the counter to pay. It was literally that fast. We made it home by 5:30 a.m. simple smooth and fast. It was fun not a terrible experience at all.

Needless to say I'm fully enjoying the system and feel that I am now addicted to Little Big Planet truly one of the best games of the year. Its a game for everyone if you have a PlayStation you should most definitely get it.

 

I snapped some pictures of Uncanny enjoying his system. 

 

You should all check out Uncanny's music and blog attached are the links to his pages. Trust me you won't regret it....

http://uncannymusic.bandcamp.com/

http://theuncannyworld.blogspot.com/

http://twitter.com/Uncanny0728

After Thanksgiving

Thanksgiving is not usually a tradition I enjoy.  I don't enjoy the tradition meal turkey stuffing and all that not for me. I am known to make jokes about how it's the day the pilgrims sat down and had a meal with my people before slaughtering them. I guess my issue with the holiday is that I've always felt I don't need a special day to show the people I love that I'm thankful for them. I feel I can sit down at any time and have meal with my family or friends without the pretense of holiday obligation but just because I feel like it. I realize this year after a wonderful time with family and friends this may not be the right thinking. I often think of the things I'm thankful for but I don't know if I express them enough. 

Reflecting one day as I started to walk around my local park I saw he beauty I don't usually take time to notice. I took this picture....

 

I was in such awe walking under the trees at that moment. My gospel music blaring from my headphones. Just thinking wow God made all this and place me here to see it. I really don't notice these things enough. So I too another picture....

 

As I took this picture I realized I have walked by this bike rack for most of my life. I have seen it's many different color changes and I'm really grateful for that. I'm happy to say I live in a town that is smaller than a big city but not completely empty of culture. I also live close enough to jump on a train to go to L.A. if I so chose. All this is a blessing! I think if I lived in the city I would find some trouble to get into.I've always said that I would relocate for love or if God sends me somewhere else. I can't help but hope that is a town like where I from. I live so close to my family and friends. Just this weekend I went to church on Thanksgiving day with my parents and a friend heard a beautiful message. Went home and made my chicken pasta 

 

enjoyed time with my other family. I got to talk to my sister on the phone for awhile pretty much about nothing but it was fun all the same. Throughout the weekend I got to see more friends and I've come to realize that all the people I spent time with little amounts or great I truly love and cherish. Whether they are blood related or not I feel a closeness to them and I love the place they hold in my life. Even though we can argue and fuss I am grateful that their here. Whether we speak every day or not. Honestly I could go on and on about the different blessings from God I'm thankful for so I'm going to stop here. 

One thing I will work on is how I express myself and showing more gratitude to those I love. For without you all my life would go on but would certainly never be the same.

Decisions

Decisions.....

To me we are all a couple of bad decisions away from a life we could never see having. Yet somehow as a people we often forget and look down on people we think have lesser value. The truth is one bad decision leads to another and you can be that homeless person you scoff at outside the grocery store. Or the person in jail that doesn't really know how one night ended up so bad. One of the attributes of Jesus I feel we miss is his compassion. Time after time Jesus has compassion.

There is a bible story I hold very dear to my heart. It is of Mary and the alabaster box.

Luke 7:36

 ^36-39One of the Pharisees asked him over for a meal. He went to the Pharisee's house and sat down at the dinner table. Just then a woman of the village, the town harlot, having learned that Jesus was a guest in the home of the Pharisee, came with a bottle of very expensive perfume and stood at his feet, weeping, raining tears on his feet. Letting down her hair, she dried his feet, kissed them, and anointed them with the perfume. When the Pharisee who had invited him saw this, he said to himself, "If this man was the prophet I thought he was, he would have known what kind of woman this is who is falling all over him."

 ⁴⁰Jesus said to him, "Simon, I have something to tell you."

   "Oh? Tell me."

 ^41-42"Two men were in debt to a banker. One owed five hundred silver pieces, the other fifty. Neither of them could pay up, and so the banker canceled both debts. Which of the two would be more grateful?"

 ^43-47Simon answered, "I suppose the one who was forgiven the most."

   "That's right," said Jesus. Then turning to the woman, but speaking to Simon, he said, "Do you see this woman? I came to your home; you provided no water for my feet, but she rained tears on my feet and dried them with her hair. You gave me no greeting, but from the time I arrived she hasn't quit kissing my feet. You provided nothing for freshening up, but she has soothed my feet with perfume. Impressive, isn't it? She was forgiven many, many sins, and so she is very, very grateful. If the forgiveness is minimal, the gratitude is minimal."

 ⁴⁸Then he spoke to her: "I forgive your sins."

 ⁴⁹That set the dinner guests talking behind his back: "Who does he think he is, forgiving sins!"

 ⁵⁰He ignored them and said to the woman, "Your faith has saved you. Go in peace." 

To me not only do you see Jesus showing compassion but also love and forgiveness. Here is a woman that by standards of man is unforgivable and should hide in shame. Yet Jesus forgave her and gave her peace of mind. 

In my opinion we all fall short and my sins are no different then that of a town harlot. It's simply what is more socially acceptable. So as a people can we love the Jesus in the next person. You may not like their decisions and where they've taken themselves but the love of Jesus can bring them back. You can be that difference to show them how deeply Jesus has reached you. The simplest act can change a persons life. A simple smile a hello in passing noticing someone is hungry and coming out of the store with a sandwich for them. Shoot just sharing a meal if that's all you have. A common misconception is that only pastors have the power to reach another human being. So not true!!! Jesus lives in you!!! Each one reach one. You have that power placed inside of you to help change someones course. Give them the second chance Jesus gave you.

So I beseech you take care of those that need that extra care. Share the love of the Lord with them. Tell them Jesus loves them in spite of all their wrongs. Don't be ashamed of the knowledge that pulled you out from your fiery pit no matter how different the sin. Man sometimes a sin didn't even get a person in their situation were not the ones to judge were suppose to love.

For the Jesus in me LOVES the Jesus in YOU!!! no matter who you are, where your from, and what you look like.

"I'm Sorry"

Have you ever took the time to think about the phrase "I'm sorry" and how people use it. I mean really people throw around those two words all the time. Something that I've always been hated for is the fact that i don't say im sorry unless I mean it. Even then I will often say I apologize I feel it's more sincere. I have had countless discussions with numerous people on this matter and realize everyone's view is different but it still bothers me.

One person told me that sometimes they say their "sorry" because the other person feels so bad. Really they say it to pacify them and to smooth over a situation. Another said that if a group of friends or family make them feel bad and tell them they should feel sorry then they say it. Lastly another told me they say it because it's second nature at this point they've grown up their whole life saying their sorry when offending others.

Now when I got these responses I have to admit I was a little baffled. I was taught that when you apologize to someone it should be out of a sincerity of heart with the purpose of not repeating those actions towards them. Thus the stubbornness of not apologizing until I truly mean it.

So these things had me thinking how many times have people just thrown those words at me to smooth over a disagreement??? Is it not okay to agree to disagree with another???  More often then not when you disagree with someone one party is offended that you can't see their point. But should that ruin a friendship???

To go a step further can "Sorry" really fix everything???

Far Far Away

There is this one situation that keeps plaguing my dreams it's driving me crazy. There's nothing I can do now for it happened so long ago. But the dream ends in a future I don't believe will come true and at this point I'm really not sure if i want it to. It's funny how one action can alter a course. I can honestly say if I had it to do all over again that I would have never clicked send. I normally wouldn't think about this I don't like to live in the past. It's these dreams that keep bringing me back. These dreams are unreal nothing like present day. So why are they here I ponder away....

I just want this dream to go far away....

I feel like it's mocking me in the most painful way....

I just want this dream to go far far away...

Boyfriends Never "Boyfriends"

I have perpetually had a group of boyfriends in the closest friendships a girl could ever hope for kinda way. But never boyfriends in the lovey dovey head over heels kinda way. I had a conversation with some women my age who seem to think this is very strange. I've never thought it to be strange but the jist of the conversation was how am I suppose to find a man if I have all these guys that are friends around. One woman flat out told me she didn't think it was normal or healthy for me to just be waiting for the perfect relationship. What I should be doing is shopping around that's what dating is for. I had my rebuttals and asked them about all the guys that they've randomly hooked up with that left them broken hearted. What kind of sense does that make??? Let me tell you this didn't help my case. To them it's experience for the next guy and i obviously must be hiding from rejection.

So this got me to thinking....What kind of sense does that make??? Hook up with as many random guys to gain experience for the next one till you find the man your suppose to marry. Or be a serial monogamous with guys you know its not gonna last with but hey it was "experience". In my world that seems a little strange. I was taught to wait for the man to find me by biblical standards that's what your suppose to do. But try explaining that to a group of 20 something women. 

It's not that I am waiting for the perfect man. That's not the case at all, I know their is no perfect man walking this earth. I just want someone that from day one although he may find me sexually attractive would be mentally attracted to me as well. I've come to realize I don't need a man in my life to tell me I'm pretty. My daddy told me everyday I was growing up till now. No! what I need is a strong man to have fun with. Someone who will cherish me as much as I'm going to cherish him. Someone that loves me in spite of my wrongs and will be willing to stick it out when I'm acting like a brat. Someone to lead me I won't mind following his decisions. Oh the list goes on....

If this makes me old fashion then so be it. Four of the most important women in my life three of which have be married at least 20 years. Have all told me there stories on how their marriages came to be. In all four cases all four women weren't even looking for a relationship. All for various reasons but still they weren't looking. Shoot they didn't even like their husbands at first meeting. But in the end they all have these great lasting relationships that haven't damaged them but help make them stronger. They are all truly with the mate God had for them. Looking at them helps my patients grow.

Bottom line I don't think I will start dating for "experience" no matter what my girlfriends say. I think the man that's for me will appreciate the fact I didn't shop around. And hey if that makes me a bit odd then so be....I'm just going to continue being me...

Internet Games...

The games people play are very entertaining especially those on the internet. These games often remind me of some of the period movies I watch. For some reason in the ages of Duchess and Queens women and men alike would play all kinds of evil game. They often spoke about one another with a coy little smile and made power moves in setting their place in society. We are no different! Only now we have no decency we sit behind a computer screen and type words that most would never say to another persons face. We post sad little remarks about when a man or woman has hurt ones feelings. We delete or block each other when were mad. Women add each others profiles not because they actually would like to get to know her but because they want to see what's going on their page most of the time over a man. 

The sad part is a lot of people become paranoid and instead of enjoying the social networking site they signed up on they are worrying over who said what. Isn't this ludicrous??? While yes i enjoy being able to talk to those out of state or old high school friends. The games always put a sour taste in my mouth. Although I know they would exist without the internet sites there is something about someone telling you how they truly feel about you to your face. Or how about when you offended someone they would have to contact you by phone or in person to tell you. Even text messaging we often tell people things in text messages that should be said in a real one on one conversation. People are often shocked when I call and don't just send a text. Have you ever thought its because I would rather hear your voice then see a smiley face or a lol. In my opinion sometimes it just seems like a cop out. Its to protect oneself from rejection or really being themselves.

Although i have all these sites it makes me think if I did not have them how many people would seek me out just to talk or say hi. Not that many I could wager and a whole heck of a lot people wouldn't know my business. It would be a lot easier to avoid being slighted if I didn't participate. I must learn to get over the little jabs people make move on and truly laugh at how pathetic it is. Not all of it is easily laughed off.

I am notoriously know to be very apparent in my feelings and facial expressions. I am a all or nothing hot or cold kind of girl. If i don't like you you'll know. It's not something I am terribly proud of but it's me and I would rather be that way then faker then a three dollar bill.

So I am going to say this straight from my heart to yours. If you do not like me don't feel any obligation to. If you are somehow offended by my blog myspace facebook or twitter page simply block or delete me. You can write me a message or chose to do so quietly but to spread it around is just simply something I wouldn't do to you. I write what I want I post what I feel whether its right or wrong you don't have to look or like it. I actually enjoy a good discussion so if you would like to comment feel free. Just know I will respond the great thing about this world is we have free will choice and we can chose to agree to disagree if it comes to that. 

Bottom line is I don't do this for you I do this for me!!! I know I don't use proper grammar all the time and I write from a one sided point of view. I would not have it any other way for my pages are mine and truly reflect me. If I have offended in any way try bringing it to me as I would do the same for you. If you don't have enough courage for that then say la vie......

The Gossip the Pillow and the Knife...

A woman named Belle went to lunch with a friend the conversation soon turned to the gossip that was going on in their small town. Belle's told her friend of another woman who's husband was cheating on her doing the most shameful things. Belle made sure to tell her friend make sure you don't tell anyone else but they both continued talking and having a chuckle because they were so sure that could never happen with their husbands. The two friends parted after lunch Belle told no one else but as for her friend she could not say the same. The gossip soon reached the mans wife and the family was soon after torn apart with the whole town watching.

Belle feeling terrible about what she herself had caused went to her priest to confess 

"forgive me father for I have sinned I have caused another pain by gossiping with another" 

the father's reply was "I want you to go home take a pillow and a knife go to the top of your building"

before the priest could finish his instructions Belle cut in "What! Why? What do you want me to do with that"

The priest patienly waited and said "I want you to take the knife and cut the pillow in half once you have done that return and speak with me" 

Not understanding fully why she must do this Belle held her tongue and went home to follow the priest instructions. Reluctantly she took a pillow off her bed a knife from the kitchen and took the stairs up to the roof. Thinking "This is crazy" she slowly lifted the knife and cut the pillow. Not really seeing the point Belle returned to the priest "Father I have done what you asked"

the priest asked "What did you see when you cut the pillow"

"Well feathers of course" Belle stated in a matter of fact tone of voice. 

The priest still being patient said "Okay then my child now I would like you to go collect every single feather that spilled out from your pillow"

Belle's face all a screw quickly replied "Well how on earth can i do that the wind has blown them all away"

The priest smiling said "Exactly neither can you take back the unkind words of gossip but you can remember the how fast the feathers spread and as soon as they were loosed you could never get them all back" 

the priest continued on "Now my child you may go you have learned your lesson but you must never forget the feathers"

As she had sat and listened a tear had slide down her cheek for she finally understood what had seemed so silly in the beginning all made perfect sense now. She could not control he fact that the woman's husband was cheating but she could control what she did with the information. Although she could not change the way this had worked out she from now on would remember the feathers.

Respecting Marriage and Relationships

Seeing as we are living in the reality t.v. world I like most of my fellow Americans decided to join in on the viewing pleasure. Now matter what anyone could tell me I'm watching my shows. They are in a way my little guilty pleasures and only say this because there are those out there that choose to judge and say reality shows are trash (But that's another blog for a later time).Now one of my little guilty pleasures just happens to be The Real Housewives of Atlanta and I know several other people that enjoy this show and of course it always sparks a debate. Its all about the dislike of one housewife or another back and forth so on and such.

The main topic of discussion and dislike has often been around one woman Kim! for those of you don't watch she is a single mother of two girls and is dating a married man and quite frankly shes very open about it. This utterly disgusts me and I guess I assumed all woman would feel the same way I mean for gosh sakes shes sleeping with someone else HUSBAND!!! Kim often tries to reason away her blatant disrespect for as she calls him "Big Poppa's" wife by saying he's getting a divorce they don't stay in the same house she doesn't make him happy we've been dating for four years he's leaving her and countless other excuses. So with all that I automatically assumed  that most other women would feel this is so wrong. But quite the contrary many women my age thinks shes fab or saying she's trying to find love whereas most older women share my disdain.

This got me thinking why is that??? why do younger women and most of all single see that this relationship is okay. While older women mostly married feel the exact opposite. Well I think somewhere over the years women have lost a respect for other women. Its a common decency to respect another woman's relationship and marriage. I mean is it really that hard to check a man that comes at you side eye and smooth talking. Can you take a moment and make some logic out of the situation. He loved his wife enough to declare his love in front of family and friends and your only good enough for the bedroom. Sure he buys you nice gifts but that's to temporarily buy you into staying longer. More often than not he ends up staying with the wife anyways. Why go through the heartache pain and humiliation. To me makes no sense I would never want to cause another woman pain that I would never want to feel myself. Yes it does take two to tango but you have free will choice. Chose to say NO!!!

I can't lie I've know men that have cheated and that have gave me the side eye but I have a simple set of rules. That most of my single girlfriends seem to think are ridiculous but i stick to make sure there will be no misunderstanding of intentions.These also go for men in relationships (he's still taken ladies)

1. Never go anywhere alone with a man in a relationship this includes any form of meal or outing that the two of us are exclusively alone (i.e. shopping zoo picnics rite aid) the time he's spending with you at a meal should be time spent with his woman. The only approved place is church and that's it and even then its church then home you go to hear God's word fellowship with a group at church and dip out.

 

2.Never ever talk badly about the girlfriend or wife if a male friend decides to tell you about his hardships no matter how bad always  suggest ways for them to work it out keep it short and sweet the time he's spending telling you can be spent working on his problems with her. If you can't do that then simply don't weigh in. It never helps when you build yourself up like your this great woman that wouldn't do these terrible things to him. Not your place and there's always two sides to a story.

3.Make it a point to never text or call just for conversations sake. The only times its okay to call or text is birthdays,holidays,and deaths in the family. Also if your apart of a group of friends and need to tell a place and time to meet up if you have his woman's number its best to just go through her. Any other conversations are unnecessary there's no need to have a 3 hours convo with him he's got a woman for that already.

4.Never spend random money on him buying him gifts he may of mentioned he would like. No matter how big or small sends a message. We all know the appropriate gift times.

5. If his woman acknowledges something you did that offended her to you take the time to listen and within reason change your actions. We all know the intentions of our hearts check yourself. You may of heard unsavory things about her or seen something you didn't like but who really knows what he's doing behind closed doors. If you must get these feelings out vent to someone you trust to keep it confidential. Remember there must be a reason he's still with her. 

(bonus)6. If you know another woman close to you is dating or interested in a man steer clear no need to mess up a friendship just to prove your more desired or because you like the attention. Think of your friend or family members feelings she'll figure out if he's really that into her without your help. 

Now those are my basic rules I extend to men that are in relationships and married. I don't think there extreme I think they are set so there is no place for bad decision to be made. The truth is that most situations start out as innocent as can be by one person or the other and can lead to a very unproductive and unhappy place. Remember there is someone out there for you and he's single no need to tear apart lives and for your own personal gain and who's to say he won't do it to you. Just a little something to think about next time you run across a man that is taken.